Parental Moments
by twotimesblessed
Summary: Parental Moments or Scenes in the Cohen plus 1 Household
1. Cheering Section

**_CHEERING SECTION_**  
  
As Ryan jogged onto the soccer field, he heard his name and several "You're number one!" and "You da man!" shouts. A small embarrassed smile crossed his lips as he turned his head slightly in the direction of the shouts. There they were his own personal cheering section: Sandy, Seth, Summer, Marissa and even Kirsten, her first game. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sandy start the wave, Seth follow and Summer look at them like she was sitting with losers. Ryan was sure he heard an "Ew, no Cohen." Ryan shook his head at their goofiness and joined his team on the field. Secretly, Ryan got a kick out of their kooky behavior but he would never let them know that. Instead, he would try to ignore them and later tell them what fools they had made of themselves. But they would just laugh and tell him he loves it.  
  
Up and down the field the game went, and every time Ryan had the ball he could hear shouts from the stand.  
  
"Go, Ryan!"  
  
"Show'em how to play soccer, Ryan!" were the usual cheers.  
  
But occasionally there was the odd "What are you blind, ump!"  
  
He would have to tell Kirsten later they were called referees and did not take kindly to being called ump, not to mention blind.  
  
Just before halftime, Ryan scored on a penalty kick. A couple of his teammates came running at him and gave him the congratulatory macho hug and slap. Ryan snuck a proud glance into the stands and saw his cheering section screaming. Sandy started the wave in their little group again. This time he had little more success as Seth dragged up an eye-rolling Summer, who then dragged up Marissa, who then had to tap Kirsten on the shoulder to get her to jump and then sit down quickly.  
  
"Man, what a bunch of losers!" Ryan laughed and shook his head as he ran off the field for halftime.  
  
Just as he was about to join the team at the bench he spotted Sandy running up to him with his favorite, ice cold Gatorade. He had told Sandy a couple of times that the team had drinks but he persisted; besides Ryan liked that drink anyway. He could handle the ribbing he would take in the locker room after the game. So what if no one else's parents brought them special drinks, Sandy did.  
  
By the time the coach had finished yelling at the team for all of their dumb plays it was time to start the second half. Ryan sat on the bench waiting to be put back into the game. As he watched the game he thought of the games he had played when he was nine, right before his father had been arrested. He remembered how he loved playing and how he longed to have someone in the stands cheering just for him. During his first games he would always look into the stands after he had made a good play, hoping to see someone there. But there never was and after a while he no longer looked. Once Dawn had shown up at the last few minutes of the game, Ryan saw her stumble up the stands and several people put out there hands to catch her when it looked like she might fall. And when the game ended, Ryan got on his bike and rode to his friend, Mike's house. Dawn never saw him, she was still trying to focus on which player was Ryan. She mentioned the visit and Ryan let her think she had gone to the wrong game. After that he only hoped his family would not show up at the games. And they never did.  
  
Now here he was, 16, and he had his own personal cheering section, people who sat in that stands acting silly and cheering for him. People's stares did not faze them; Ryan's little embarrassed head shake was enough to keep them going. They were right he did kinda like it. Sometimes for just a moment Ryan would let himself forget they were not always his family. 


	2. Leash Laws

**_Leash Laws_**  
  
Ryan sat at the dinner table and listened to the easy banter between Seth and his parents. Occasionally, he interjected a comment or two but mostly he enjoyed listening. He had not quite figured out the rhythm of their back and forth.  
  
Just as there was a pause in the conversation, Sandy announced, "Oh, Ryan I got you something today. Something you've needed for a while."  
  
Ryan looked in Sandy's direction. Sandy's was smiling big at his the attempt at creating intrigue.   
  
Ryan asks, "What is it? I don't think there is anything I need….You guys have done too much already."  
  
"Oh, no my friend. This is a necessity. Especially, if you are going to be dating, going to parties…."  
  
"No, Ryan run. Tell them you don't want it. Save yourself. It's too late for me but I'm telling you buddy. Run," Seth gestured towards the glass door as he spoke.  
  
Sandy and Kirsten looked at each other and chuckled at Seth's response.  
  
"Why what is it?" Ryan was very curious now and a little worried.  
  
"It's a leash, man. Tell'em no thanks."  
  
"A leash?" Ryan looked quizzically towards Kirsten and then Sandy.  
  
"No, not a leash. It's a lifeline, a safety device and peace of mind for Kirsten and me."  
  
"It's a device to harass, bother, and blow every intimate moment with your girlfriend," Seth warned.   
  
Ryan was really worried now, what could it be. "Really, what is it Seth?"  
  
Sandy stopped Seth from telling Ryan, "No, we'll tell you after dinner. Seth keep quiet."  
  
Sandy smiled mischievously at Kirsten who responded seductively, "You're so bad and I think I like it."  
  
"Mom, Dad nausea is setting in."  
  
Both Sandy and Kirsten smiled at their son's disgust, as they began to finish their meal.  
  
The rest of the meal was spent mostly in silence except for the occasional, "Don't let them ensnare you," or like comment from Seth. Sandy and Kirsten stole a glance or two at each other.  
  
Ryan helped clear the table. Seth had retired to the family room and was busy with his playstation.   
  
"Ryan. Sandy and I have this, you go out ninja Seth." Kirsten tried to nudge him into the family room even though she knew he would not listen. He always helped.  
  
"No, its okay, I'll just finish up," Ryan said as he rinsed the salad bowls before putting them into the dishwasher.  
  
Sandy, Kirsten and Ryan finished with the kitchen. Ryan sat down on the couch in the family room ready to challenge Seth a game or two on the playstation. But before he could get the offer out, Kirsten entered carrying a small gift bag. Sandy followed closely behind her.  
  
Kirsten handed the gift bag to Ryan and said, "Okay, here's your leash as Seth calls it."  
  
"Mom, Dad, Please don't do this to the guy," Seth begged as he paused his game.  
  
Ryan took the bag and investigated the contents cautiously. As he took out the pastel colored tissue paper he reached in and pulled out a new cellphone. He laid it on the coffee table and pulled out a charger, earphone, and carrying case. He put the gift bag on the floor and picked up the cellphone again. He opened it and turned it on.  
  
"Thanks, guys. It's too much," he said softy.   
  
"Nonsense," Sandy said as he slapped him on the back. "How else are we going to harass, bother and ruin every intimate moment you have with your girlfriend?"  
  
Kirsten walked around the coffee table and sat on the other side of Ryan. "Now we just need to cover the rules."  
  
"Or as I like to refer to them, "The Leash Laws"," Seth interjected as he made the quote symbols with his fingers.  
  
"Well, son, that is one way to look at it. But as I said before it is also a safety device. We can get in touch with you when we need to and you can get in touch with us. If you are in a bad situation, we are only a phone call away," Sandy explained.  
  
So now for the "Leash Laws", Kirsten did the same hand quotes as Seth had done earlier and smirked at Seth as she did so.  
  
"One, if you are not at the house or school, your cellphone will always be on. No excuses. If we try to get in touch with you and you say you did not hear the phone or it was not on, that is worth one week of grounding. No exceptions," Sandy said firmly.  
  
"See, what did I tell you, buddy. It's a leash," Seth nodded his head knowingly.  
  
"Seth, that's enough," Kirsten ordered.  
  
"Two, if you find yourself in a bad situation and need help to get out, call us immediately. If you have had too much to drink, call us, do not drive. We will talk about it the next morning."   
  
"We want you safe, we will just be grateful you called us and did not drive drunk. Of course, we discuss it with you the next day. But that night we will pick you up no questions ask," Kirsten added to Sandy's listing of the rules.  
  
"Three, if we call you because you have missed curfew. When you pick up the phone, your first words should be, "I'm sorry. I am on my way home now, please don't ground me," Sandy chuckled as he said the last part.  
  
Kirsten smiled as well. "Of course, you will be grounded unless you have a really, really good excuse."  
  
"Four, if you tell us you are going someplace and those plans change, you are to call us and let us know where you will be and what the new plans are."  
  
"Leash," Seth whispered.  
  
"Five, this phone is not for chatting with friends for hours at time. You can do that with the house phone. This phone is for us to be in contact with you and for your safety. Of course, you can use it to make quick calls to friends but do not waste your minutes on that. Six, if we think of any other rules those are to be followed also."  
  
Ryan had sat in silence and nodded after each instruction. As Sandy finished he looked down at the phone, and thought 'Leash is right'. He felt a little overwhelmed at the moment. No one had ever been concerned about his whereabouts before. His mother rarely knew where his was and he was glad. He also knew he could never call her if the situation went bad, either she would have been too drunk to help or if she did show up it would mean a beating when he got home. He wasn't sure he could live up to all of these "Leash Laws". He would surely screw things up and he would be grounded. But now someone cared that he was safe.   
  
Kirsten and Sandy glanced at each other worriedly.   
  
Kirsten put her hand on Ryan's back and rubbed it gently. "So what do you say, can you live with those rules."  
  
Ryan looked into her eyes and then quickly back down at the phone. "Yeah, sure. I can."  
  
Kirsten heart jumped a little at what she saw in his eyes. His eyes were glistened with tears, that he quickly covered by looking back down. 'Was he unhappy with the rules.' She continued to rub his back and said, "Ryan it is really just for your safety and our peace of mind. We are not trying to keep you from having fun. Just fun that is safe."  
  
"Yeah, sure, I know…Thanks guys….for the phone. It's just…I'm going to screw it up."  
  
Sandy laughed and slapped him on the back, "Of course, you will and that's when we get to go all parental on you and do fun stuff like ground you. That's what we parents live for, right, Seth."  
  
Seth jumped up off the floor and wrapped his arms around his father as if to restrain him and said, "Run, free yourself, escape while you still have a chance at a normal life."  
  
But Ryan didn't move, he stayed and laughed as Sandy struggled with Seth and Kirsten wrapped her arm around his shoulder. This was normal enough for him and leashes just might keep you safe. 


	3. Parental Coddling

**_Parental Coddling  
_**  
Seth pushed his father's hand away as he attempted to straighten his bowtie.   
  
"Dad, I'm good," he said as he moved his head to prevent him from smoothing down his curls.  
  
"You look damn good, son and Summer, well, she's hot. You two will be raising the roof." Sandy pumped his palms up toward the ceiling."  
  
"Dad, enough with the trying to be hip. You're going to pull something and then I will have to spend this most special evening of my life at the ER. Go bother Ryan, I am sure he needs some parental coddling."  
  
Sandy attempted to straighten a errant collar only to be swatted away. Sandy shrugged his shoulders in defeat and headed out of Seth's room to the pool house.  
  
Ryan heard a knock and then Sandy voice, "Are you decent?"  
  
"Yeah," Ryan answered.  
  
Sandy opened the door and came into the pool house. "So, you about ready? You're looking good. Come here let me see that tie." Ryan crossed the room to where Sandy was standing. Sandy reached and adjusted the bowtie that really needed no adjusting. Ryan lifted his chin and allowed Sandy to adjust what he knew needed no adjusting. Sandy tugged at the sleeves of the tux jacket and shifted the cuffs of the shirt underneath.  
  
"You're looking good, kiddo. The ladies are going to be jealous of Marissa this evening."  
  
"Thanks, but Newport girls not so much interested in a Chino boy. Can't keep them in designer clothes and credit cards."  
  
"You have a lot more to offer than any of those boys at Harbour. Any girl would be lucky to have you. I think Marissa knows that."  
  
"Yeah, maybe."  
  
"Let's go. The limo should be here by now and I know Kirsten is dying to see you guys off."  
  
"Yeah, okay." Ryan smiled nervously.  
  
"Don't worry it'll be fun." Sandy put his arm around Ryan's shoulders; lead him out of the pool house and into the main house. Both Ryan and Sandy stopped as a bright light flashed in their eyes.   
  
"That's a good one." Kirsten smiled as she motions for them to follow her into the living room.  
  
"Ryan come stand by Seth, I want a picture of the two of you together."  
  
"Okay, now one of Ryan. …. And one of Seth. …. Sandy you get in there with them. … Sandy, take one of me with the boys."  
  
A car horn sounded outside.  
  
"Mom, the limo. Can we stop this relentless picture taking? I really think there is something to that "steals ones soul"."  
  
Kirsten grinned and asked Seth, "Please, step outside and see if the limo driver will come in and take a picture of all of us together."  
  
"Mom its not even the Prom, it's just a school dance."  
  
Ryan opened the front door, "I'll get him." He stepped outside for a moment and then entered with the limo driver following behind. Ryan tilted his head and raised his eyebrows at Seth's exasperated look.   
  
After the limo driver finished taking the group picture Sandy handed him a tip, "Thanks the boys will be out shortly."  
  
"Bye," Seth tried to make a quick escape out the front door.   
  
"Seth, back in here now," Kirsten ordered. Ryan watched in bemused silence.  
  
Seth came back into the house under protest, "Mom, come on. Dad, don't you guys have enough pictures."   
  
Ryan stands smirked in Seth's direction and then to Sandy and Kirsten said, "Did you get one with just the two of us. Me and Seth."  
  
Seth cut his eyes in Ryan's direction, "Oh, I see how it is, you traitor, turncoat."  
  
Suddenly, Ryan pulled Seth into an arm around the shoulder pose. "Shut-up and smile." Seth gritted his teeth and glared at the camera in Kirsten's hands.  
  
Sandy and Kirsten stood in front of both boys. Sandy started the evening's instructions with, "Okay you know the drill, no drinking, and no drugs, use your brains…"  
  
"Act like gentlemen, use manners…," Kirsten interjected.  
  
"Yeah, okay." Ryan nodded.  
  
"Mom, I am nothing if not a gentleman and Dad, no drinking, no drugs are you trying to spoil all of our fun." At Sandy's look, Seth's tone changed, "Nobody here drinking or doing drugs."  
  
Ryan watched as Kirsten pulled Seth into a hug and whispered something into his ear. As she released him she kissed his cheek. When they had finished, Ryan headed toward the front door. Kirsten stopped him and pulled him into a hug and whispered into his ear, "You have a great time tonight." He felt her hand slip into his jacket pocket and she whispered, "Here's a little something to help."  
  
"No, that's okay." Ryan shook his head and started to pull the money out of his pocket when Sandy's hand stopped him.  
  
"It's yours, kiddo, you've earned it. Those grades were top notch," Sandy said.  
  
Kirsten leaned back and put her finger to his lips when he started to protest. As she released him, her lips kissed his cheek.  
  
"Thanks," he said quietly.  
  
Ryan turned to walk out the front door and towards the limo. Seth waved the money he had received at Ryan as he got into the limo. Just as Ryan lowered himself into the car he looked back at Sandy and Kirsten. Both of them stood in the door frame smiling broadly, Sandy's arm snuggly around Kirsten's waist. Ryan smiled slightly and nodded his head even more slightly in their direction. And as he shut the car door when he was sure no one would see he brushed his fingers lightly against his cheek where Kirsten had kissed him. 


	4. Kisses

_Author's Note: I am really new to this writing stuff. But I have been a lurker at TWOP, especially the Ryan thread and like some of them I wished for more P,D,P, so I wrote it myself. I don't have a Beta, so I hope I have not made any glaring mistakes. Thanks for all of the kind reviews._

_Oh, and I don't own any thing of value. So don't sue me Josh. _

__

**_Kisses_**  
  
Ryan smelled something bad. He shook his head and blinked his eyes. He left hand and wrist were throbbing. People were talking to him and someone was waving something in front of his nose and it stunk.  
  
"Atwood, come on, buddy."  
  
"Hey, Ryan."  
  
But one voice, soft and trembling was calling to him,  
  
"Ryan, sweetie, wake-up. Ryan wake-up, you're scaring us."  
  
He felt a hand stroking his cheek and then his forehead and turned in the direction of the person speaking and stroking his face. As his vision cleared, he saw Kirsten gazing into his eyes trying to see some sign of consciousness. He blinked again and looked around, Kirsten, Coach, teammates and paramedics from the always present ambulance were all around him. The paramedics were moving the most, touching him and checking out his possible injuries. Kirsten was on his left, stoking his forehead and talking to him gently.   
  
"It's okay. You're fine."   
  
It really sounded like she was trying to convince herself as well as Ryan. Ryan moved to sit up but was held down by hands he could not see. Kirsten hand pushed back on his forehead.  
  
"Oh, no you don't; you're going to the hospital."  
  
"Hospital, ..uh, no.. I don't .."  
  
Kirsten cut him off, "No discussion, you're going."  
  
Ryan did not argue. His eyelids were very heavy, and his injured body just wanted to rest. He heard a distant voice say:  
  
"Keep him awake, Ma'am."  
  
Kirsten rubbed his forehead. "Ryan, …Ryan, you can't go to sleep. Look at me. That's good. Tell me about, about, .. um .. , Let's talk about… Okay, what is your favorite type of food?"  
  
"Mexi….oh, ow, ow," Ryan gasped. Someone or something had just knocked his injured hand. "My hand, it hurts. Leave it alone." And why was Kirsten asking him silly questions?  
  
"Hey, his left hand over here is hurt. One of you guys look at it," Kirsten instructed the paramedics. "Everyone else move back, please. I'm talking to you. Move back. Now," Kirsten demanded. She shifted into her "take charge" and "do what I say" mode that Seth, Sandy and now even Ryan knew so well.  
  
Suddenly, everyone moved away quickly. A gurney rolled up next to him and was collapsed.   
  
Ryan shook his head. "No, I don't .., not going.., I'm good," he protested.  
  
Kirsten put her hand on his forehead and stopped the shaking.   
  
"Ryan, you need to go. You are going. Just to make sure you didn't knock anything loose in that hard head of yours."   
  
Ryan struggled with the paramedics as they started to lift him on to the gurney.  
  
"That's enough, Ryan. You're hurt and you are going to the hospital", Sandy said sternly. He softened his voice as he added, "We'll be right behind you kid. Right there when they take you into the ER." He patted Ryan's leg and stood up. "He's ready to go guys."  
  
He froze when he heard Sandy's voice. He had not seen Sandy. Had he been there the whole time?  
  
"Don't worry, we've got your back," shouted Seth from a short distance away.  
  
"Hey, Chino I totally did the wave for you, now get your ass to the hospital!" Summer   
ordered.  
  
Ryan's will to fight was gone. The paramedics lifted him on to the gurney and strapped him in. Kirsten leaned in, hesitated and then kissed his forehead. Ryan closed his eyes and accepted the kiss, letting its tenderness comfort him, as her sweet scent filled his mind with peacefulness.   
  
"We'll see you there. They won't let me ride with you. You'll be all right. You're strong and brave."  
  
He and the gurney were lifted into the ambulance and the gurney was locked into place. The doors shut and the ambulance took off.   
  
"Your son should be fine. I would like to keep him overnight for observation. His sprained wrist and broken fingers have been set but it's the concussion I want to keep an eye on." Dr. Yaden said.  
  
Sandy, Kirsten and the Doctor glanced in Ryan's direction from the corner of the room they had moved to for more privacy. They moved towards Ryan lying on propped up pillows in a hospital bed.   
  
Dr. Yaden started, "Ryan we are going to keep you overni…."  
  
"No," Ryan interrupted shaking his head and sitting up in the bed. "No, I'm okay."  
  
Kirsten, Sandy and the Doctor looked into his fearful and pleading eyes.   
  
"I really think we need to leave that up to the good doctor, here. They'll take good care of you, kiddo." Sandy said as he patted Ryan's arm.  
  
Ryan turned to Kirsten to plead, "Really, I'm okay. And, I have a lot of homework. I'll stay in bed, and won't over do it. It's just me and hospitals, uh,…don't mix."  
  
Kirsten's heart melted, she turned towards Sandy her eyes pleading for help from him. Sandy shrugged one shoulder. Kirsten then turned towards the Doctor and asked, "Is it absolutely necessary for him to stay. Can we check on him during the night at our house?"  
  
The room door swung open and Seth, Summer and Marissa entered the room. They stood silently behind the adults as the conversation about Ryan continued. They knew something was up because Ryan did not look happy.  
  
"No, I really think it is best for him to stay. He lost consciousness on the field and suffered a Grade 3 concussion. Although, he was not foggy-headed for an extended period of time, which is a good sign, he really needs to be monitored for any undetected injuries. His brain took quite a bump." The doctor turned towards Ryan, "But if everything checks out you will be out of here by this time tomorrow."  
  
"Woo," Ryan whispered and sarcastically raised a victory fist just to the level of his chin. Why can't they see that he is fine? Hospitals were a place he visited a few times when he was younger and he remembered the fear he had while staying there. Fearful the doctors and nurses would discover how he had really been injured.   
  
Kirsten reached and took his fisted hand in hers. Ryan uncurled his fingers and she intertwined hers in his. He glanced shyly at her than back down at the blanket but he did not remove his hand from hers.   
  
"You know what? I have a project I have to address this evening, and I think this room would be the perfect place to do just that," Kirsten tried to sound convincing. She wasn't sure what she could do to ease his fears but she felt that she needed to be there for him.   
  
"Yeah, no, it's okay, Kirsten." Ryan shook his head, their eyes met for a second and then he dropped his gaze to the blanket covering his legs. She squeezed his hand and the patted it with her other hand.   
  
"Oh, I know you will be okay. I think you might be interested, it's floor plans for our new development. Plus, it will be a lot more quiet around here."   
  
"Yeah, I might want to look at those," Ryan said as he went along with her ploy. Of, course he didn't really need her there. He was a big boy after all but maybe it made her feel good to think he needed her there. She could stay if she needed to.  
  
"Mom, he's not four. Besides I can bring the playstation up here and we can have a friendly competition between the master and the student. I'm willing to take a break from the Man's assimilation program you guys refer to as school. " Seth glanced back and forth between Sandy and Kirsten trying to convince her to let him stay with Ryan overnight and skip school the next.   
  
"Cohen, playstation? My 8 year old cousin has outgrown that." Summer laughed.  
  
Sandy spoke up to backup up Kirsten, "No, Nope, Not going to happen. Ryan needs to rest, not fight evil ninjas all night long. And son, we gave up on assimilating you a long time ago. Your mom will be staying." Turning to Kirsten and patting Ryan's leg he said, "I will bring you some clothes, toothbrush and other sundries. Anything else you can think of?"  
  
While Kirsten and Sandy discussed what other items she would need, Marissa approached Ryan's bed.   
  
"Hey." She said as she reached for his hand.  
  
"Hey. Guess I won't be taking you out tonight."  
  
"Guess you'll just have to make it up to me later." Marissa leaned and kissed his lips softly. "Bye, see ya tomorrow."  
  
Sandy held the room door open and waved Seth, Summer and Marissa out one by one. Then he quickly hopped towards Kirsten, his arms encircled her in a loving hug as they gently kissed. "I'll be back in a little while with all necessities in tow," he said after their kiss. Then he turned quickly towards Ryan, put his hand on the back of Ryan's head and kissed his forehead. When Sandy released him Ryan looked up in surprise, his cheeks flushed red as a grin spread across his face.  
  
Sandy announced with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "Hey! Just trying to help you heal faster, kiddo. Just ask Kirsten my kisses are extraordinarily magical."  
  
Ryan looked at Sandy, raised his eyebrows and said, "Really?" And he would never tell anyone but he thought they just might be.  
  
They both turned towards the sound of Kirsten's snickering.


	5. We've All Learned A Lesson

_Author's note: These stories are not meant to follow one another they are just parenting scenes in the Cohen1 household. Scenes that I would like to have seen on the show but because of time constaints they were not. So I wrote them for myself and have posted them for other's who may be interested._

**_We've all learned a lesson  
_**  
"So you guy's thirsty?"  
  
Ryan bumped into the refrigerator door and Seth nearly dropped the juice bottle his hand held, at the sound of Kirsten's voice. Looking in the direction of the sound, they saw her sitting at the kitchen table arms crossed and a very angry look on her face. A coffee mug was sitting to her right.  
  
They both began to speak at once.  
  
Ryan stuttered, "No…. Um…. Just.. I mean…Yeah"  
  
Seth rambled, "Yeah, Ryan was just saying how thirsty he was. Since we had such a rough time tonight and we tried to reach you but the cell towers in Newport must be down cause we tried to call, I mean we knew you would be worried…."  
  
"Sit now," Kirsten ordered as she pointed to the counter stools.  
  
Both boys quickly did as they were told.  
  
Kirsten stood up and approached the breakfast counter. She put out her hand in their direction. "Hand over your cell phones. Now who wants to explain first?"  
  
Seth and Ryan looked at each other and reached into their pockets for their cell phones. Why hadn't they thought of a cover story? Oh, yeah Sandy was out of town. And Kirsten is clueless or so they thought. That was a major planning mistake.  
  
"Well, I can see that your cell phones are off. That's rule number one. Do you know how worried I was? I was considering calling the police. Your curfew is 11:00; it is now 3:00 in the morning. I can't wait to hear your story? And it had better be a good one."   
  
"Mom, Mom…There's no need to go psycho," Seth spoke softly and reached to pat his mother's shoulder.  
  
Ryan dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his temples. 'What is Seth thinking; this is not a good time to piss Kirsten off more than she already was.'  
  
"Seth, I suggest you sit down now. If I am psycho it is because I have been worried out of my mind for 4 hours. Actually, you know what you go to your room and wait for me. I will be questioning you two separately."   
  
Ryan's eyes showed panic as he looked towards Seth. He couldn't lie, he didn't want to lie, he wanted Seth to do it, like the other times. Quick cover stories was not one of his skills. Dawn never noticed when he stayed out late or didn't come home at all. This was definitely new territory.  
  
Seth knew they were in trouble now. No way would Ryan come up with a convincing story and even if he did how would he know what Ryan had said. It didn't matter Ryan would cave at the first question.   
  
Seth spoke up in desperation, "Mom, come on, we just… ran out of gas. Marissa's car ran out of gas and we did not hear the cell phones because we ..um ….left them in the car…".  
  
"Seth, room, now!"   
  
Seth stopped his attempt at creating a story for Ryan to fill in, shrugged his shoulders in Ryan's direction with palms up and turned to go to his room.  
  
Kirsten and Ryan watched him go and then she stepped into the living room to check out the stairway. "Seth, room."   
  
Seth jumped up from the second landing stoop on which he had sat and headed towards his room.  
  
Kirsten reentered the kitchen; Ryan was staring at his hands, and was looking quite pale. "So what's the story?"  
  
Ryan continued to look at his hands and quietly said, "Like Seth said."  
  
"Uh Huh. Look at me young man and tell me where you have been and don't try to give me that lame story about running out of gas. Believe me I tried it with my own parents and it didn't work then either. Let me hear it."  
  
Ryan turned his eyes towards Kirsten. "Kirsten, please we didn't do anything too bad. And we are safe. I don't want to get Seth into trouble."  
  
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. You guys are already in big trouble. Right now we are just determining if you will be grounded even longer for not telling me where you were and then lying about it."  
  
"Okay, we went to a party and lost track of time. We turned off our cell phones because we didn't want to have to lie to you if you called." Ryan shrugged his shoulders and said sheepishly, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."  
  
"Who's party?"  
  
"A kid from Harbour."  
  
"And his name is?"  
  
"I'm not sure..I think Seth knows him."  
  
"Ryan, unless you want to grounded until you are thirty you had better talk."  
  
"Josh…" Ryan said quietly and turned his eyes back towards his hands. He closed his eyes in anticipation on Kirsten's response.  
  
"Smithfield, Josh Smithfield. Didn't Sandy and I just last week tell you guys to stay away from him?"  
  
Ryan looked up and nodded slightly.  
  
"The Josh Smithfield that was expelled from Harbour for ecstasy!"  
  
Ryan looked at his hands and nodded. "We didn't do any drugs," he stated quietly.  
  
"So there we drugs at this party and I'll bet drinking."  
  
"Yes, but we only drank beer and not very much."  
  
"You're sixteen, not much, is too much.   
  
"Anything else you want to tell me."  
  
"No," Ryan almost whispered. Oh, there was a lot more to tell but if he just kept it to short answers maybe they would only be grounded a week or two.   
  
"You stay right there. I'm getting your partner in crime."  
  
Ryan couldn't believe it. His interrogation was over. Well so much for short answers, Seth would be talking now. Ryan put his head in his hands, he felt the pressure of tears but he would not let them fall. How could he be such an idiot, now what would she think of him. 'This is stupid I'm not going to cry. Seth and his crazy ideas. Why do I listen to him? Why didn't I just tell him no?' He had tried to convince Seth tonight's plans were not in their best interest but Seth's argument had seemed more convincing. 'All things considered maybe I should have tried a little harder. Kirsten's going to think I am a bad influence. That this was all my idea.'  
  
As Kirsten and Seth entered the kitchen, he heard Seth confessing, "Yeah, but Mom did Ryan tell you why we had to go to LA? Did he?" Ryan's head jerked up and tried signal to Seth to cool it on the confession. None of his facial gesturing stopped Seth's mouth. Kirsten turned towards Ryan and Ryan froze mid-head shake and throat-cut gesture.   
  
Kirsten put her hands on her hips and asked sternly, "Trip to LA, huh?" She smiled slyly at Ryan and said, "All I had to say was I knew everything and he started singing like a canary."  
  
Seth stopped talking for only a second as he realized his error and then said, "Oh, you didn't know about LA. Did ya? Okay, I got hand it to you, Mom, you really pulled a fast one on us. You are really much sharper than Da….."  
  
"Can it, Seth. Tell me about LA."  
  
Seth shifted his eyes to the floor and put his fingers to his offending lips. He moved to one of the kitchen stools. Ryan's stare-of-death was about to burn a hole in the side of his head.  
  
Ryan looked Kirsten in the eyes and his voice shook slightly as he spoke, "Okay, here's the deal…..We stopped by Josh's party,…. for a maybe, a minute….and some of Summer's friends mentioned a rave in…..LA. And we thought it would be fun. But it really wasn't.   
  
Seth interrupted, "We turned our phones off. I know, not a smart move. But Mom you're usually so clueless."   
  
At Kirsten's glare, he said, "And I mean clueless in only the sweetest, most-caring mother kind-of-way. Okay, so it's usually Dad who watches the curfew clock. But we really only planned on being an hour late but then we lost track of time and then we had to drop everyone back home. So, if you really think about it only about two hours is our fault. And the first party doesn't count because we were only there a couple of minutes. When we drove up, all of the lights were out. We thought you had gone to bed and were as clueless as we had hoped. And now we know for the future you are really not that clueless, so I think we have all learned a lesson here."  
  
Kirsten was angry, angrier than Ryan or Seth had ever seen her. "What were you two thinking? Do you know how dangerous that little escapade was? Anything could have happened to you and I would not have known where you were. Not to mention underage drinking. Drugs at two parties. You could have been arrested." Her voice cracked with emotion as she continued, "Ryan, you might have been put back in juvie and taken away from us. What were you thinking?" Tears were forming in her eyes.  
  
Ryan could not look at her. What could he say? She was right. And she cared about him being taken from them not about whose idea it was.  
  
Seth said to the counter top, "I guess we weren't thinking."  
  
"Damn, right you weren't. Okay, you both are grounded for 4 weeks, 1 for the cell phones, 3 for the parties. No TV, no video games, no phone, no friends, no nothing, got it. Both of you go to your rooms now. I am sure your Dad will want to discuss this further when he gets home tomorrow."  
  
"4 weeks, Mom, Come on that's too much. We have a …."  
  
"Seth would you like to make it 8 weeks, because I am that angry right now."   
  
"No, I'm good." Seth removed himself from the kitchen stool and made a quick exit.  
  
Kirsten turned towards Ryan who was still sitting on his stool. Drained she said, "Go to bed, Ryan."  
  
Ryan lifted his head and said sincerely, "I'm sorry. You're right we weren't thinking and it was stupid. I'm sorry we worried you, and I'm sorry about the drinking and well like I said for just being stupid."  
  
Kirsten walked over to Ryan, placed her hand on the top of his head and tiredly said, "Yeah, I think stupid is the right word. But you are safe now that's what matters most. Maybe after the 4 weeks is up you guys will think about it before being stupid again."  
  
"Thanks, Kirsten." He shyly glanced up at her and then back down at his thumbs.  
  
"You're thanking me for grounding you. I'm sure that's a first"  
  
A sly grin crossed his face as he turned to face her. "No the grounding sucks." He paused and then added, "Thanks for caring and I'm cool with the groundings, we deserve it." With that he slid off the stool and headed towards the pool house. Stopping at the patio door he looked in Kirsten's direction and said, "Good Night."  
  
"Sleep tight," she said softly as she wrapped her arms tightly around her waist and drew in small, sharp breath.


	6. Something to Think About

_Author's Note: This is a conversation I think needed to occur on the show. Thanks for all of the encouraging reviews. _

**_Something to Think About  
_**  
Sandy and Kirsten watched as the light came on in the kitchen. Ryan was right on time. Actually, three minutes early on his curfew time. They watched as he opened the refrigerator, retrieved an apple and a bottle of water. He put the apple in his mouth as he opened the glass door and headed towards the pool house. He jumped and almost tripped on the top step when he heard Sandy's voice.   
  
"Hey," Sandy said cheerfully. "You made curfew."  
  
"I try," responded Ryan. He looked in the direction of Sandy's voice. He saw Sandy and Kirsten sitting side by side at the patio table, drinks in front of them. Obviously, enjoying a quiet evening together. "You guy's didn't need to wait up."  
  
"We didn't. You just happened to catch us enjoying the night air." Sandy gestured towards the ocean. "And you know, we get some of our best thinking done out here,"   
  
"So, how was the movie?" Kirsten asked picking up on Sandy's cue. Maybe this would be a good time to talk to Ryan about his relationship with Marissa. She and Sandy had been concerned about Ryan's tendency to take care of Marissa without regard for himself.   
  
"Good, really good. I could have done without Brad Pitt's naked butt. But it was good."  
  
"Brad Pitt, naked butt, sounds like my kind of movie," Kirsten said dreamily.  
  
"Honey, why? You got all you'll ever need right here," Sandy proudly stated.  
  
Ryan ducked his head and with an embarrassed smile said, "Okay, night guys." He gave them a little goodnight wave and turned towards the pool house.  
  
"No, wait, Ryan. " Sandy put his arm around Kirsten as he continued, "We're in love what can I say?" He pointed out an empty chair at the table. "Please come sit with us for a minute."  
  
"No, it's…I'm tired. I think I'll hit the sack."  
  
"Hey, did I tell you Newport Group bought the property at Pelican's Ridge. We will be hiring people to work on it, soon," Kirsten said hoping to draw him into conversation. "Maybe you could help this summer."  
  
Ryan's eyes lit up and he took a couple of steps in their direction. "Really, you think I could….maybe, work with one of the architects."  
  
"I don't know we'll see. You'd have to work wherever you were needed." Kirsten explained. She smiled as Ryan took a couple more steps in their direction. His interest was definitely piqued.  
  
Sandy squeezed Kirsten shoulder as he said, "Hey, I could put in a good word for you. I know the boss. She's a nice lady."  
  
Ryan now stood next to the table. "Will you tell the owner, that I'll do whatever she needs me to do? I worked construction a couple of years with one of my Mom's boyfriends."  
  
"I'm sure we can find something for you, but you might work a lot of hours. Won't it blow any plans you have with Marissa," Kirsten asked.  
  
"She'll…understand," Ryan said hesitantly.   
  
Sandy asked, "You don't seem to sure about that. Do you think she might not understand?  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Are you worried she won't like you working?" Ryan could hear the concern in Kirsten voice.  
  
Ryan pulled out a chair at the table and sat down. "No, she just likes to spend time with me and it would mean a lot less time together." Ryan turned and looked towards the pool. Obviously, concerned about how his absence might affect Marissa.  
  
"How do you feel about that?" Kirsten asked.  
  
"I'm okay with it. I guess we don't need to spend all of our time together."  
  
"Sandy and I like to have our separate time. What do you think Marissa will say?"  
  
"She won't like it."  
  
"Why is that?"  
  
"She's already talking about all we'll do this summer. Especially with all the problems she is having with her mother and then there's the marriage. It helps her forget."   
  
"Yeah, I'm not to happy about that marriage myself?" Kirsten said.  
  
"But they do deserve each other, don't ya think?" Sandy chuckled at his joke. He then asked, "How's she handling those problems? Marissa, I mean."  
  
"Okay, I guess. Marissa is really upset with Julie, and when she's upset, she..uh, she sometimes makes bad choices."  
  
"Like?"  
  
"Well, like ODing in Tijuana and, I don't know, other stuff."  
  
"Like drinking," Kirsten said knowingly.  
  
"Yeah, maybe."  
  
"ODing and drinking are ways to escape from your problems. It's not handling those problems." Kirsten leaned forward and rested her chin on her hand as she spoke to him.  
  
"Yeah, I know, I've lived it."  
  
"Yes, you have." Kirsten reached and rubbed the top of Ryan's hand. "Well. Is she doing anything to help herself?"  
  
"She's going to therapy. Under protest, but she is going. I'm taking her on Tuesday. You know…just to make sure she goes."  
  
"Why are you making sure she goes? Where are her parents?" Sandy asked.  
  
"They have problems of their own."  
  
"Seems to me I remember Julie being very concerned about Marissa getting therapy. Surely, she would make sure she gets there."  
  
Sandy removed his arm from around Kirsten's shoulder and leaned forward on the table. "You know, Ryan, I said this to you once before. You don't have to be the parent anymore. That's what we're here for and that's what Marissa's parents are for. If she has problems with Julie, and who among us doesn't? Then Jimmy can take her. It is not your responsibility."  
  
"I know but they just let her drive herself and sometimes she doesn't go."  
  
"Where does she go?" Kirsten asked already knowing the answer.  
  
"She usually comes over here."  
  
"Do you think that is a good idea?"  
  
"No, but she has already missed the appointment by the time she gets here. What can I do?"  
  
"What do you think you could do?" Sandy asked, hoping Ryan would realize that Marissa was using him to avoid the help she needed.  
  
"I could drive her there myself, which is what I am planning to do?"  
  
"Yes, you could do that. But then is Marissa really helping herself or is she still going under protest?"  
  
"But she won't go if I don't take her. She will just come over here."  
  
"Maybe, but what if you weren't here. What would happen if you let her know that you didn't want her to skip therapy anymore? What if you told her you would not be at home?"  
  
"She would get angry. And she would probably break up with me."  
  
"She might do that." Kirsten said as she shrugged one shoulder. "She might not. Do you think she should get angry and break up with you for that?"  
  
"Well, no….. She should go to therapy. She does need help. I know that. I have seen how much she is hurting."  
  
"Then if you know she needs help and her parents know she needs help, maybe it's time Marissa accepts that she needs help and does something about it."  
  
"Why do you think she comes over here instead of going to therapy?" Sandy asked.  
  
"I don't know. To hide out or……..escape maybe?" Ryan looked up at both of them as he realized where this conversation had led him.  
  
Sandy nodded his head, "Sounds like the same thing she did with the drugs in Tijuana and the drinking she does now. Doesn't it?"  
  
"Yeah, ….I guess… I never really thought about it that way."  
  
Sandy stood and took Kirsten's hand to help her from her chair. They walked hand in hand around the table till they were beside Ryan. Sandy spoke, "It's in the Parent Manual, Article 273, 'Give them something to think about.' It's right after 'Embarrass your teenagers whenever possible'."  
  
Kirsten's hand rubbed Ryan's back as she leaned close to his ear and said softly, "I'm sure you will do what is best for Marissa…and you."  
  
Ryan nodded and said, "I'll try."  
  
"That's all we ask." Sandy put his arm around Kirsten's waist and they headed toward their bedroom. Ryan watched them go and smiled as he saw Kirsten put her head on Sandy's shoulder. They entered their bedroom; shut the door behind them and about three minutes later the lights went out.  
  
And from their window, Kirsten and Sandy could see Ryan still sitting at the table looking out at the ocean.


	7. They'll Marvel at Our Wisdom

_Author's note: It's not always easy being a parent, especially to teenagers. Thank you for all of your thoughtful reviews. They make me feel good. _

**_They'll Marvel at Our Wisdom_**

Sandy walked into the pool house and saw Ryan lying on the bed. He was curled up hugging a pillow close to his body and looking straight ahead a blank stare on his face. He did not acknowledge Sandy's entrance. Sandy approached the bed and sat down on the edge. He reached out to rub Ryan's arm and in that instance, Ryan flipped over and moved to the other side of the bed. Sandy's hand hung in the air for a second before he brought it back down to his side. Well, that answered one question he had. Ryan was still angry with them.   
  
What does Sandy want? Ryan was angry with them and wasn't going to talk about it. Didn't they know he wasn't going to do anything stupid? He didn't want to go back to juvie. He knew this family was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He wouldn't screw that up. No, they probably thought he was going to steal another car.  
  
Sandy spoke softly, "Ryan, sometimes we have to make decisions that may not seem fair. We parents have to make those decisions based on the years of experience that we have. Experience, which you do not have, my friend." Sandy was watching Ryan as he spoke but the kid did not move. Not even a little bit. He wondered how Ryan could stay so still. Sandy smiled to himself and shook his head at Ryan's steely resolve.  
  
Ryan stared out at the ocean. Sandy could ramble on all night for all he cared. Nothing Sandy said would justify their lack of trust. He was old enough to make his own decisions. He would just call Scott to pick him up after everyone had gone to bed. He could go out if he wanted and they couldn't stop him.   
  
"And yes, sometimes we make mistakes but I would rather make a mistake like this then see you trouble or worse, injured. Teenagers don't always see the problems that may arise from certain associations or actions. That's where our job as parents comes in."  
  
What did Sandy think he was going to do? These guys just wanted to hang out with him. And that was saying something for Newport. No one except Seth ever wanted to hang out with him. Why couldn't he make some other friends if he wanted to?  
  
"Scott and his friends are not who you need to be hanging out with. Not with your probation and past problems. They are nothing but trouble…… with a capital T and that rhymes with…" Sandy stopped himself; Ryan was not in the mood for joking. Besides he probably wouldn't get the reference anyway.   
  
Ryan remained motionless, but rolled his eyes at Sandy's Music Man joke. Does he think he can make some lame joke and everything will be okay? Surely, Sandy didn't think it would be that easy. If he really wanted to make things right, Sandy would let him go with his new friends and…trust him.   
  
Sandy looked at the side of Ryan's chest, watching for signs of breathing. Yep, there it was, the kid was still breathing. He then continued, "Their parents aren't aware or don't care what kind of trouble they've caused. They make excuses for them or blame it on other people. We don't want you to be the one who is blamed if something should go wrong. Fortunately, you do have people who care about you and what you are doing. Kirsten and I just want to keep you safe and out of trouble. So, that you can have that bright future that we've talked about."  
  
"Keep you safe" was just code for "making sure Ryan has no fun." What would make Sandy think their plans would be unsafe? Yeah, he knew Scott had been in trouble a few times but so had he. How was that any different? He could take care of himself. Ryan wished Sandy would leave his knee was really itching.   
  
"Are you getting any of this?" Sandy asked. Sandy signed loudly when there was still no movement or response from Ryan.  
  
No, Ryan wasn't getting it. It made no sense. In Chino, he was allowed to go and do anything he wanted. Now he had to tell Kirsten and Sandy everything. Where he was going, what time he would be back, who he would be with. Man, that was irritating. He had played their game for a while now. He thought they would start to loosen up, but no, they still had to know everything. What made it their business anyway?  
  
"You just got off of restriction for the fight with Luke. I'm sure you don't want to be back in that boat anytime soon. Those boys, especially Scott, are rich and bored. That's not a good combination. Kid's like that think they're above the law. He has parents that keep bailing him out of his messes. We won't allow you to be in a compromising situation."   
  
Sure, he had seen that attitude in Scott. Scott acted like the world owed him because his family had money, like he had the right to things because of who he was. Ryan didn't like that about him but that didn't mean he couldn't have a good time with the guy. It didn't mean he had to act like them or make the same choices. Sandy just doesn't get it. He can handle them.  
  
Sandy wondered how Ryan was able to stay that still for such a long time but he decided he didn't really want to think about how the boy had learned that particular skill. He was sure it was not tied to very pleasant memories.   
  
Maybe, Ryan wouldn't call Scott but he certainly wasn't going to join Kirsten and Sandy for dinner. He would stay right out here all night. He had some snacks on the counter. He didn't want to be around people who didn't trust him. Plus, he was tired, too tired to go out with Scott later. Maybe another day.   
  
"Ryan, come on, I know you're upset. But you don't need to skip dinner. We're having one of your favorites. Fajitas. I'm cooking. And Kirsten made sure she picked up some guacamole for you." There was no response from the other side of the bed.  
  
Kirsten got guacamole. How did she know that he liked that? Sure, he did like it. But how did she know? He did not remember telling them. As a matter of fact, he always ate what was served without complaint. It was one of the few things that had kept him low on his mom's radar when he was younger. Ryan's stomach growled a little. He wasn't eating their stupid food, even if she did notice that he liked guacamole.   
  
Thinking that Ryan may have fallen asleep, Sandy lifted himself off of the bed and walked around to the side that Ryan was facing. Ryan was staring out the poolhouse door towards the ocean. The only movement Sandy saw was the blink of his eyelids. Sandy bowed his head in defeat and shrugged his shoulders and he thought, 'Well, at least he heard me. Now, whether he really listened, I'm not so sure.' Just as he turned to leave he said, "Oh and after dinner we're having ice cream sundaes." That part was not really true but if Ryan came inside for dinner Sandy would go to the store himself to make it true. Sandy looked for some response from Ryan but there was none. Surely, the kid couldn't resist ice cream sundaes. He hoped he was right.  
  
Ryan's stomach growled again. An ice cream sundae would be really good. He was not caving though. They had to understand that he was old enough to handle himself. He wasn't going to be bribed by a sundae. He wasn't four. He wondered if they got any of those little Reese's Pieces to put on the sundaes. It didn't matter anyway, because he wasn't eating the stupid stuff. Maybe he could have some after school, if they didn't hog it all.  
  
"Okay, if you change your mind, we'll save some for you," Sandy sadly stated. Just before he left the poolhouse, he said, "Just so you know, it's Scott and his buddies that we don't trust. Not you. He turned and headed out the door. He left the poolhouse door open and as he entered the mainhouse he left that door open as well.  
  
Oh, now Sandy's saying it's those guys he doesn't trust. Wonder what Kirsten would say? Yeah, Scott had mentioned getting a couple of six-packs and heading down to the pier. That probably wasn't a good idea, especially with his probation. He could have talked them into something else though. Like…well…he would have thought of something. That's what Sandy and Kirsten just don't understand.  
  
Sandy walked into the kitchen where Kirsten was waiting on him. "Well?" she asked.  
  
"I think we just have to accept that sometimes, as parents we are not going to be liked and hope that, one day, the boys will marvel at our great wisdom."  
  
"He seemed pretty angry. Do you think that will happen anytime soon?" She sat down at the table and rubbed her right temple, "I can't stand him like this."  
  
"Kirsten, we have to be strong," he said as he massaged her neck and shoulders. "But I hate it, too."  
  
Ryan continued to lie in the bed staring out at the ocean. He brought his hand up to scratch his nose. He could smell the fajitas cooking in the mainhouse. It was one of the few things that were actually cooked by the Cohen's. Almost every evening meal was takeout or cooked by Rosa. Sandy's fajitas were really good. His stomach growled loudly this time. Maybe he would just go in fix a plate and then eat it in the poolhouse. Going hungry wasn't going to teach them anything and it would only give him a headache.  
  
Kirsten smiled a little and quickly glanced in Sandy's direction when she saw Ryan. "Sandy," she whispered. When he looked in her direction she nodded towards the poolhouse. Sandy glanced out the window and saw Ryan then quickly went back to cooking the fajitas. They ignored him as he came in the door to the kitchen.  
  
Ryan snatched a plate sharply off the table, just so they would know that he was still angry. He was only here to get something to eat. He was hungry and that was all.  
  
Sandy said cheerfully, "Sorry, kiddo, the steak part of the fajita isn't quite done yet."  
  
Ryan ignored him and prepared two flour tortillas with all of the things he liked, including the guacamole. He went to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water.  
  
Just at that moment, Seth came bounding into the kitchen. "Hey, I got a new game. Oh, Dad, you're such a domestic goddess. Fajitas! I love ya, man. Hey, Ryan are you up to the challenge," he said as he waved the new game in Ryan's face.  
  
"No," Ryan replied with an edge to his voice. Seth recognized it as the "leave me alone" tone.  
  
"Okay, buddy. I'll just stay out of your space," Seth said and raised his hands in surrender.  
  
Kirsten jumped up out of her chair and said, "Hey, I'll play with you."  
  
"Mom, Mom, Mom, I really don't think you can handle the complex thinking and manual dexterity needed to master this game. You'll just be crying when I get done with you."  
  
"Shut-up, Seth. Are you afraid, I'll conquer your castle or beat up you're knight or save the princess before you do?"  
  
"Riigght! That's what it is, Mom. Come on this won't take long."  
  
Ryan sat at the table, in the seat nearest the family room. He had to see this. Sandy brought the steak to the table and placed some on Ryan's tortillas. Ryan rolled up one and began to eat. He watched as Kirsten's player died over and over again. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. "Kirsten, push the top one to make him jump," he instructed. He finished eating and moved to the arm of the couch beside Kirsten. "No, use these to make him spin and swing the axe. No, not that one. Okay, here watch." He took the controller away from her and proceeded to show her how all of the buttons controlled the character.   
  
Seth handed his controller to his Mom. "I'm hungry, you play with Ryan. He obviously has more patience with mere novices than I do."  
  
Sandy looked on as Ryan continued to show Kirsten how to play the game. Kirsten caught his eye, glanced at Ryan and then winked at Sandy. He announced to his family, "I need to run to the store. I just need to get some sundae fixings."  
  
Kirsten shouted after him, "Don't forget pineapples. Oh, and the Reese's Pieces."


	8. 98 Dollar Jeans

_Author's note: In my mind this could have taken place around the time of the episode, "The Debut" when Kirsten suggests that they need to get somethings for Ryan including the unmentionable (according to Seth) underpants. Oh, and I did a little research, Troquet really is a French bristo restuarant at South Coast Plaza and those really are items and the costs on their menu. And the mall does have a concierge._

_And once again. I thank you for the reviews._

__

**_Shopping with Ryan_**

Ryan sighed heavily as three more shirts were laid over the top of the dressing room door. He tiredly blew the hair out of his eyes, as he tried to find a place for them on the already overstuffed hooks. Finally, he gave up and laid them on the floor. He turned back towards the mirror. This shirt was certainly better than the pinkish shirt, Kirsten had picked; she called it salmon. Yeah, he was sure salmon was not his color. This shirt would be good. At least it was only, $42 as opposed to the $68 price of some of the other shirts. He had only paid $40 dollars for his bike at Mike's Pawn Shop and it had taken him awhile to save up that money. This shirt cost more than his bicycle; he would never understand rich people.  
  
This shopping trip wasn't his idea, he didn't have the money but when Kirsten insisted he had suggested Target or any other discount store. But she would not hear it, South Coast Plaza would have everything he needed she had said. He decided he had better chose something or they would be there all day. One shirt would be good; he could pay them back for that with the money from his job at The Crab Shack. After he finished dressing in his old clothes, he opened the door to the dressing room. Kirsten was approaching with an armful of pants and shirts, only these looked like dress clothes. He was really tired of this shopping stuff.  
  
"Ryan, you can't possibly be done. Did you find anything that you like? Did you even try on those three shirts?" she asked.  
  
"I like this one." He held up the dark, gray shirt he had decided on earlier.  
  
"Out of all of the things you have in there." She glanced into the room as she spoke. "There must be 20 shirts in that room. Surely you can find something else."  
  
"No, I'm okay. I like the clothes I have. They're comfortable," he said hopefully  
  
"Yes, they certainly look comfortable and….worn-out. I've seen you wear the same shirt three times this week."  
  
"If I get this shirt, maybe I will only have to wear them two times a week." He bowed his head and cut his eyes in her direction as a smirk crossed his lips.  
  
Kirsten face dropped its friendly smile and became serious, "You are not leaving this mall unless you have chosen a least five shirts and jeans, a couple of dress shirts, ties, pants and a suit. We will also pick up some shoes, t-shirts and under…boxers. Do we understand each other?"  
  
"Yeah." He dropped his shoulders and bowed his head in defeat. He looked at her from under his eyebrows and added, "But it's too much. I can't ask you guys…."  
  
"Nonsense, you'll actually need more. But if you get enough for one week of school, I'll be happy. That way you won't have to wear the same two outfits every other day. And you will need the dress clothes for the social events."   
  
"Okay, I'll take this blue shirt." He reached back into the dressing room and grabbed a dark, blue casual shirt. He looked at her hopefully.   
  
"Good that's a start, three more shirts and five more jeans to go. Now get back in there and try on the three I just gave you and take this dress stuff in there. When we're done, we'll have some lunch at Troquet." She handed him the armful of clothes she had been holding and was off to find more.  
  
Three hours and thirty-seven minutes later, Ryan Atwood had a week's worth of school clothes, two sets of dress clothes, ties, belts, shoes and a suit. And he was exhausted.   
  
Kirsten and Ryan laid the latest items they had chosen on the checkout counter. Kirsten turned to Ryan and said, "Okay, last thing, go grab some t-shirts, socks and un….boxers."  
  
"No, that's okay. I'm good." At Kirsten's look, Ryan turned in the direction of the stated items. He returned a few minutes later with one package of each item, all white. "Here these will work," he said.  
  
Kirsten looked at what he had chosen and said, "Well, I see you're going to need some help in this department as well." She signaled to the clerk to hold just a moment and then she said to Ryan, "Come with me." She led him to the area where the undergarments were displayed. "Okay, let's see you are about a medium and she grabbed two packages of leopard print men's bikinis off the self. "These should do. Now let's get some t-shirts."  
  
Ryan didn't know what to say. No way was he going to wear those things but he didn't want to hurt her feelings either. "Kirsten, I don't really need…"  
  
"Of course, you need them. But if you don't pick them out then I will pick them out for you and you might not like what I choose." Kirsten laughed a little to herself as she looked into Ryan's face; the boy looked nauseous at the thought of wearing those bikinis. "So I suggest you get busy picking out something you want. By the way, at least 3 packages of each."   
  
"Okay," Ryan signed in relief and resignation.   
  
Kirsten waited patiently at the counter. "Much better," she said cheerfully as he placed his new choices in front of her. Kirsten noted they were all dark, of course, but at least he had taken a little time to choose them. She then added, "Why don't you go ahead to Troquet so we're not late for our reservations? It's on level 3 by Nordstrom's. I'm just going to pay for these and have the concierge take them to the car. It shouldn't take to long."  
  
Ryan nodded. He headed for the restaurant feeling very uneasy about the amount of money that had been spent on him today. He didn't even want to imagine what the total might be after a week's worth of $42 shirts, not to mention the even more expensive jeans and dress clothes. It would take all of his Crab Shack income to pay for this. Why did people need $98 jeans anyway? You could buy a perfectly nice pair at Target for $19.99. And even paying $19.99 had been a stretch for his family. He could remember when his Mom was scrambling to find money to pay for their $103 electric bill after she had lost another job. They cut back on everything just to keep the bill low and then she didn't even have the money to pay for it. Their power was cut and they had to do without until she managed to come up with some money. He hadn't asked how she had gotten the money because he was sure he didn't want to know. And now Kirsten was buying him jeans without even looking at the price tag.   
  
Kirsten entered the restaurant and saw Ryan looking very uncomfortable at a table on the right side. His face was partially hidden by the menu he was holding. "Hey," she said as she approached. "Sorry, it took a little longer than expected. Did you see anything you wanted on the menu? I already know what I want and I'm starved." She dropped into the chair, grabbed a piece of the bread at the table.   
  
"No, I mean, I guess….It's not really stuff I've had before.  
  
"This is one of the best restaurants in Orange County, it is kinda like a French bistro." She picked up the menu and said, "Let's see. Why don't you try the Long Island duck breast or Niman Ranch pork chop?"  
  
"Yeah, I don't know, I think….I'll just have…."  
  
Just then the waitress approached and Kirsten immediately ordered the Maytag blue cheese salad.   
  
Ryan curled his nose up at Kirsten's order but then said, "Yeah, I'll have what she's having.  
  
Kirsten knew Ryan had to be hungry after all of that shopping this morning. Teenage boys were always hungry. "Ryan," she asked, "Don't you want something a little hardier? I mean we burned a lot of calories this morning. You're a growing boy." As she spoke another waitress walked by with a chocolate dessert for table next to them, she watched as it caught Ryan's eye. "Would you like to have that after we eat?"  
  
"No, that's okay." He looked around the restaurant at all of the people, people with money to burn on $28 pork chops. He shook his head at the absurdity of it and handed the waitress the menu.  
  
Kirsten decided not to pursue it any further and changed the subject. "I think you got some really nice things. You looked very handsome." Kirsten was sure she saw a slight blush on his cheeks as he turned his eyes shyly to the table.  
  
"Thanks," he said. "It's just…It's a lot of money."  
  
"Well, you needed those things. I mean you will be going to one of the most prestigious schools, so you will need to dress the part," Kirsten said as she reached for her lemon water.  
  
"Yeah, see that's just it. I mean you guys are already sending me to that private school. And now this,… it's too much." Ryan looked at his napkin and started rolling it up.  
  
"These are things you will need. When Sandy and I agreed to be your guardians, we knew to what were agreeing. We would do the same for Seth at the start of school. Well, actually he would've spent quite a bit more money." Kirsten chuckled at the thought of shopping with Seth. "Not that I can get Seth to go to the mall with me. We usually just give him the credit card and hope he doesn't come back with a plasma screen TV."  
  
Ryan nodded his head, smiled knowingly at her because that sure did sound like the Seth he knew. "But it will take me forever to pay you back. I mean I have saved some but…"  
  
"Pay us back," she interrupted. "You don't have to pay us back. Never would we ask you to pay us back."  
  
"But I can't let you do this. I'm working and I can give you a little each month."  
  
"Well, actually, this may not be the right time…. but Sandy and I have decided that you will have to quit your job once school starts."  
  
Ryan jumped forward in his seat and shook his head, "No, you can't… I mean…. I need that money."  
  
"Sorry, it's already been decided. You will have quite a heavy class load that will include study time, homework, projects and reports. No time left for a job," she said firmly.  
  
"But I need to pay you back," he hit the table lightly with his fist.  
  
"Listen, Ryan," she reached forward and grabbed his fist. "Okay, you want to pay us back. I will accept payment in only one form. Want to know what it is?"  
  
"Sure, what?" He nodded in agreement. Finally, she was seeing it his way.  
  
"You go to school get a good education, stay out of serious trouble, and as Sandy likes to say have a bright future. Be happy. That's all the payment Sandy and I will ever want." She smiled warmly and removed her hand from his fist. When she saw him shake his head and start to argue she added, "Oh and I forgot to add that it's not open for negotiation. That's all we want."  
  
Ryan looked at the table and started rolling his napkin again. "I'll try."  
  
The waitress appeared at the table and placed their salads in front of them. Kirsten watched as Ryan tentatively moved the greens around and then began taking the chucks of blue cheese out. Kirsten signaled to the waitress and she came back to the table. "Can we get these salads boxed up to go? And add one, no two chocolate soufflés to go, as well. Thanks."  
  
Ryan stopped removing things from his salad and looked at Kirsten with a question just on his lips.  
  
But before he could say anything, she said, "I suddenly have a craving for a thick, juicy burger. How 'bout you? Do you mind if I change the plans? I know a great little burger joint."  
  
"No, sure. Actually, that sounds pretty good."


	9. It Takes a Village

_I** found several grammatical errors, so I corrected them and reloaded my story, tonight 6/16. I apologize if you were expecting a new chapter.**_

_Author's note: Well, I'm not sure I'm completely happy with this one but I was handicapped. My beta, who just happens to be my 13-year old daughter is in Virginia for 4 weeks. So I just had to struggle through it and hope I didn't mess up too badly. Thank you for your reviews. I do use the Rosa character in this story and she speaks fluent English because I didn't want to insult anyone by attempting broken English._

_Josh, Please don't sue me, I don't own anything except two teenagers. Oh, wait, that's right they own me._

_**It Takes a Village  
**_  
Sandy pulled his car into the parking lot at Harbour School. Kirsten had called earlier asking him to pick up the boys, something about a meeting with contractors. Really he just wanted to go home and relax by the pool. It had been a long day, spent working with a spoiled socialite suing over a small scar left by liposuction. His mood was not pleasant and he hoped the boys would be waiting on him when he got there, because the pool and a cold beer were calling his name. Just as he pulled into the pickup area, he saw a small but rowdy group to right but he didn't see the boys anywhere. He shifted the car into park, turned off the air conditioner, rolled down the windows and signed loudly in frustration. There was a nice breeze blowing today and he thought he could a least enjoy that while he waited, so he leaned his head back and closed his eyes.  
  
Sandy threw his eyes open as angry voices assaulted his ears. He looked in the direction of the group and listened closely. Something about those voices sounded familiar. As some of the kids shifted he could just make out Luke and even though he could not see him he was pretty sure Ryan was the other person. He saw Seth put his hands on Luke's chest and say something only to be violently pushed away. Sandy was just opening his car door when he heard Luke say, "You can have her. She nothing but a drunken whore, anyway?" As Sandy jumped from the car the group shifted again and now he could clearly see both boys. Ryan lunged and his fist connected with Luke's chin. Luke's head spun to the right and he stumbled back a few steps. Ryan brought his left fist around, but Luke anticipated his swing and had just enough time to move so that it only connected with his shoulder. Luke grabbed Ryan's arm, spun him around and kicked his legs out from under him causing Ryan to land hard on his chest and then his face.  
  
Ryan was pushing himself off of the ground when Sandy grabbed him under the arm and pulled him into a standing position. "That's enough," Sandy said firmly. He released Ryan's arm and at the same moment Ryan bent forward, ran at Luke, tackling him to the ground. They began to roll as each tried to take control of the other. Ryan ended up on the bottom; Luke held Ryan's arms down with his knees and was pounding his head into the grass.   
  
Furious at Ryan's defiance and the continuing fight before him Sandy shouted, "STOP THIS NOW!" Sandy grabbed Luke's arm and pulled back on him allowing Ryan to get one of his arms free. Ryan pushed Luke off which pulled Sandy closer into the fight. Ryan swung his legs around in an attempt to stand up but in the process his legs connected with the backs of Sandy's legs. A couple of gasps rose from the mouths of the crowd, everyone froze as they watched Sandy fall backwards. He landed on his back and his head hit Luke's thigh. At the sound of the gasps, both Ryan and Luke jerked their heads around to see Sandy hit the ground. Both boys held their positions, unsure of what to do.  
  
Stunned, Sandy lay on the ground as his anger swelled. He lifted himself up onto his elbows and looked around at the crowd. "Go….home," he said through his teeth. The crowd began grabbing book bags, other belongings and dispersed quickly and quietly. Ryan shoved Luke completely off, and scrambled to standup. Seth, who had been standing to the side, stepped forward and extended his hand to his father. Sandy angrily pushed the hand away and stood without help.  
  
"Get in the car," Sandy said under his breath to his son.  
  
Seth turned and walked quickly to the car. He had only seen that look once before on his father's face. It was the time he had built the funeral pyre for his hamster, Stan, who Seth at age 8, had insisted must be a reincarnated Viking warrior because of his brave spirit. How could he have known the lighter fluid would cause a much bigger fire than he anticipated? Remembering that look and its aftermath, Seth knew it was in his best interest to remove himself from his father's sight quickly.  
  
Sandy glared at Luke and said, "Your parents will be getting a call. Go home." Luke grabbed his jacket, headed for his truck, tripping over a tree root as he did so.  
  
Sandy then turned towards Ryan who had not moved from the spot where he had stood up. He had his arms wrapped tightly around himself and was staring at Sandy with a look of panic in his eyes. He looked as though he might run at the slightest abrupt movement from Sandy. Sandy pointed slowly towards his black BMW.   
  
Ryan's body jerked involuntarily at Sandy's motion, he dropped his arms to his sides and started for the car. After a couple of steps he remembered his backpack. He looked around frantically until finally spotting a student holding it out for Ryan to see. The only problem was he would have to walk past Sandy and he wasn't about to do that. His brain told him that Sandy would not hurt him but experience had taught him to not to get in the way of someone that angry. He'd been knocked to the ground and worse by one too many of Dawn's boyfriends. Sandy saw Ryan hesitating and began to yell to do as he was told but then realized the boy was looking for something. That something appeared to be behind Sandy himself. Sandy turned around and saw the girl holding the bag. Sandy grabbed it and gave a curt "Thank you" to the holder. He then turned to Ryan, tossed the bag to him and pointed, once again towards the car. Ryan hugged the bag close and walked swiftly to the car, his pride preventing him from running.  
  
Ryan was just putting his seatbelt on as Sandy got into the car. Sandy slowly and methodically put his own belt on and started the car. It was obvious that he was very angry and was asserting a lot of control over himself. Ryan avoided looking at Sandy's face, he was afraid of what he would see there. He knew he was gone, back to his mother, if she even wanted him or worse yet, Child Services or juvie. He knew he should just go to the pool house, pack his stuff and leave. He didn't want either situation; if necessary he could take care of himself. He couldn't tell if Sandy was looking at him in the rearview mirror, but he slid further down in the seat anyway.  
  
Sandy hadn't looked at Ryan and was not going to look at him. He was angry enough to know that he should not say anything right now, before he collected his thoughts. Angry with the boy for not keeping his promise and angry with himself for not realizing that Ryan's problems were deeper than he and Kirsten could handle. Angry because he didn't know what he could do to help Ryan but as he drove along the anger turned to determination. Determination to get Ryan the help that he needs to overcome his violent tendencies.  
  
Sandy pulled the car in to the driveway, turned the engine off and sat for a few seconds. Both Seth and Ryan paused then began to open the car doors. Sandy spoke in a low, calm tone, "Seth, go to your room. Ryan, sit on a kitchen stool and wait for me." Ryan swallowed hard. This was it; he was going to be kicked out. Seth started to argue with his father that he was not even involved in the fight and had even tried to stop it. But one look at his father and he changed his mind.  
  
Ryan and Seth left Sandy sitting in the car and headed into the house. Seth went up the stairs to his room and Ryan went towards the kitchen. He pulled out a stool and slung his book bag over the back. He then sat down in the chair and waited. A few minutes later he heard the front door open and the familiar sound of Sandy's walk. But Sandy did not come into the kitchen, the sound of his steps were going away from the kitchen. Ryan checked the time, it was 4:02, and he knew he was in for a long sit. He knew he really should just go and pack his stuff. Get out of there before they had a chance to ship him away. But he didn't, he kept sitting on the stool and he wasn't quite sure why. Maybe because he hoped just a little that it wouldn't be true. That the people he had begun to trust would not let him down, toss him out or get rid of him like the trash. He wanted it to be true that someone would want to keep him.  
  
Sandy walked into his office and sat down in the chair. He had to keep himself away from Ryan right now. He had to calm down and think about how to handle this. And Ryan could just cool his jets for a little while on the kitchen stool. Let him worry for a while about the lecture to come, how long he will be grounded and whether or not he will be scrubbing things with a toothbrush while he is grounded. Sandy leaned onto his desk and rubbed his temples. He then reached for the telephone and dialed the school's guidance counselor.  
  
At 4:36, Rosa came into the kitchen looking for anything that may need to be cleaned up before she left for the day. She wiped down the cabinets and put a couple of coffee cups in the dishwasher. Then she moved to the island, rearranged items and made sure the bagels were covered. As she did this she would steal glances at Ryan who was sitting very still and quiet at the end of the counter. His right hand was supporting his head, elbow on the counter and staring at nothing in particular.  
  
"You've been a bad boy, yes," she said with a slight Spanish accent.  
  
Ryan didn't speak and only nodded slightly.  
  
"What did you do?" she asked firmly.   
  
Ryan shrugged his shoulders.   
  
"You were fighting again, right?" Rosa approached the counter and punched her fist forward. "Why?"  
  
Ryan shrugged his shoulders again.  
  
"You tell me," Rosa demanded.  
  
"Someone made me angry."  
  
"You fight too much. Why are you so angry?"  
  
He shrugged the shoulder of the arm that was supporting his head. His left hand traced the pattern on the counter top.  
  
Rosa put her hand under Ryan's chin and lifted his face until he was looking in her eyes and then said, "You're a good boy. This anger will eat you up!" She shook his chin slightly as she continued to speak, "You're a good boy. This is a good chance for you." She released his chin and put her hands on her hips.  
  
Ryan continued to look into her eyes for a few seconds and then dropped them back down to the counter top. "Was a good chance," he said.  
  
"Why do you say this?"  
  
"Sandy is in his office calling Child Services right now. I don't have a chance anymore."  
  
"How do you know this?" she asked sharply.  
  
"Because I promised no more trouble and today I got in a fight and….. I knocked Sandy down."  
  
Rosa drew in a small gasp and reached again for Ryan's chin, "You knocked Mr. Cohen down?"  
  
"It was an accident. I didn't mean to do it. I was busy fighting with Luke."  
  
"You are lucky it was Mr. Cohen, if it this was my Eduardo..," she released his chin and slapped her hands together sharply. "You would not be sitting in that chair."  
  
Ryan shifted a little in the chair he sat. He knew exactly what she meant; he had been on the other end of a belt too many times in his life. Although he was pretty sure Rosa's two boys didn't end up with busted lips, welts and broken bones.  
  
Rosa's hands were back on her hips, "You said sorry, right?"  
  
"No. It doesn't matter anyway. I won't be here tomorrow."  
  
"You hush now. You are family. This family is different now. I know….I see things. There is more happiness, more warmth." Rosa reached out and patted Ryan's hand that was still tracing the pattern on the counter top. "You say sorry."  
  
"I ..am ..sorry," he said sincerely. He looked at her from under his eyebrows and shook his head, "I just don't think it will work." He didn't understand what she was saying. Surely she didn't think that a simple sorry would solve everything. He had broken his promise and to top it off he had knocked Sandy to the ground. Maybe Seth could get away with a sorry but no way would it work for him.   
  
"You will see. You tell Mr. Cohen, you are sorry. They will punish and all will be forgiven."  
  
"Sandy was really angry. I mean why else would he be in his office so long, if not to call Child Services."  
  
"Maybe he was too angry and doesn't want to…" she clapped her hands together loudly.  
  
Ryan jumped a little at her handclap. He felt sure Sandy would never hit him with a fist or even with a belt to his backside. But he never considered that Sandy would be staying away because he was so angry. That he might be calming down before he talked to Ryan. Even his mother had not taken the time to calm down; she swung first and apologized later. The boyfriends never apologized they just swung away until their anger was gone.   
  
"No, Sandy wouldn't hit me," he said with certainty.  
  
Rosa pointed her finger in his face and said, "No. He's thinking what to do with a boy like you. A boy who let's spoiled kids get him angry and maybe get him kicked out of a good school. A boy who forgets the chance he has now. A boy who does not stop and take the time to calm down….like Mr. Cohen." Rosa gave him a light smack on the back of his head and then she left the kitchen.   
  
He didn't think it could really be that simple. He had really blown it this time but she was right about one thing he couldn't let those trust fund brats take this opportunity away from him. That is if he still has an opportunity. Ryan looked at the clock; the time was now 5:08. He butt was beginning to feel a little numb and he had to go to the bathroom. But there was no way he was going to move off of the stool. He didn't want to add any more fuel to the fire, he could wait, and surely it wouldn't be too much longer. At that moment, he heard the front door open and the familiar sounds of Kirsten dropping her keys and purse on the table in the foyer. She walked towards the kitchen calling each of their names and then he heard Sandy open his office door and call her in. Ryan was sure that once Kirsten heard that he had been fighting again she would want him gone. He put his head in his hands and felt a lump form in his throat. But he didn't have long to wait because after about fifteen minutes he heard the office door open and the sound of Sandy and Kirsten's footsteps approaching the kitchen.  
  
Kirsten entered first, her arms folded across her chest and stern look on her face. She walked around the counter stopping just in front of the coffee maker. Ryan stole a glance at her but he could not bear to see the disappointment in her face and he began tracing the counter top again. Sandy followed with a stern look on his face but Ryan noticed it was decidedly less angry than it had been at the school. Ryan could not bring himself to look them in the eyes. They were right to be disappointed but maybe, just maybe they wouldn't kick him out. Ryan continued to fight the lump in his throat and concentrate on the counter.  
  
After a few seconds of silence, Sandy spoke first. "Okay, kiddo. Here's the deal. You were fighting again after you promised no more trouble. I see a real problem here with you using your fists instead of words. And as you know I am an advocate of the spoken word…"  
  
"I tried…," Ryan interrupted. He wanted them to know he didn't have a choice. Luke was saying nasty things about Marissa and he had to make him stop. But Sandy put his hand up and Ryan did not finish his explanation.  
  
Kirsten leaned forward and braced herself on the island counter and she said sincerely, "Ryan, we know that Luke can sometimes be a jerk and that he is making things hard for you at school. Just listen to Sandy because we are going to try and help you with all of these things."  
  
Ryan glanced up at her, with his lips draw tight he gave her a nod.  
  
Sandy continued, "As Kirsten said, we know you are having problems with Luke --and --your fists--and-- your temper --and-- your words. So, after talking to the guidance counselor at Harbour and Luke's parents, we have decided that you and Luke will be attending some after school sessions in the guidance office until your problems with each other are all worked out. Or if they can't be worked out at least, maybe he will leave you alone."  
  
Ryan sat up in his chair and started to protest. Once again Sandy held up his hand. "It's already decided kid." Then he continued, "I have also contacted Child Services.."  
  
Ryan slammed his fist onto the counter. He knew it they were going to kick him out. He knew he should never have hoped for anything different. People always let you down. You couldn't count on anyone. "I'll pack my stuff," Ryan said through clenched teeth.  
  
Sandy moved quickly to put his hand on Ryan's back. "Oh, no, Ryan, you don't have to pack. You didn't let me finish. Think why we would have you going to the guidance for counseling if you were leaving."  
  
Kirsten moved closer and put her hand on Ryan's shoulder, "Listen to Sandy," she said softly. She felt some of the tension release from his body as he once again gave her a slight nod of his head. What Sandy had said was beginning to sink in, they weren't kicking him out. He was staying for now. At least until he did something really bad.  
  
Sandy continued, "Okay, anyway, Child Services has a program they call "Second Step". It's a program that teaches kids how to handle conflict. They show you different techniques for resolving situations, disagreements and well, anger issues. I, ..We, think it would be beneficial for you to attend. There is a class starting on Thursday nights at 6-9 for the next four weeks."  
  
Ryan shook his head no. He didn't need to attend any stupid class. Those things didn't work because those people don't really know what happens in the real world. Sandy tapped his shoulder and Ryan looked at him still shaking his head.  
  
"Well, if you don't want to go to the Thursday night classes, there's always the Saturday class from 8-noon. You are going to one or the other. That's the only choice you get to make. So what will it be Thursday or Saturday."  
  
"Thursday," Ryan said with resignation.  
  
"Good, I already signed you up," Sandy slapped him on the back for emphasis. "Oh yeah and you're grounded for two weeks. For fighting, for not stopping when I told you and for knocking me down. I really don't like to be knocked down." Sandy indicated his own body, and said, "You can't mistreat a fine specimen like this."   
  
Kirsten squeezed his shoulder, "Why don't you go to your room. I call you for dinner. And really, you should be more careful with old men like, Sandy. They can't take all that rough and tumble stuff anymore."  
  
Ryan gave Kirsten a slight upturn of his lip; some might even call it a smile. He lifted himself off of the stool, grabbed his bookbag and walked towards the French doors. He paused just as he was about to open it and then turned back to Sandy and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"  
  
Sandy interrupted him, "I know you are kid. Don't worry about it. It's over and all will be forgiven after your two weeks are up.  
  
But Ryan knew that wasn't really true, he was pretty sure he was already forgiven.


	10. It's Not Always Pretty

_Author's note: Thanks for all of the kind things you guys have had to say about my little stories. This newest chapter is kind of sappy but what can I say, I was missing my daughter, who is away visiting my sister. This chapter started out in an entirely different direction. I am currently in need of a beta, so forgive me if I did not catch all of my mistakes.._

**It's Not Always Pretty**  
  
Ryan Atwood did not feel well at all. All day his body had felt funny, tingly even. Now here he sat at the dinner table stirring his rice and salsa, concentrating on keeping what he had already eaten down. It was a battle he was losing.  
  
Sandy watched as Ryan moved the food around on his plate never taking a bite of anything. He wondered what might be bothering him and hoped that the boy had not gotten in trouble at school again. Ryan didn't usually have much to say at their family meals, letting Seth do most of the talking but tonight the quiet was very loud from his side of the table.  
  
"Hey, I thought you liked this stuff, guacamole, burritos, lots of cheese. Did you have a bad day today?" Sandy asked.  
  
Ryan didn't respond not realizing that Sandy was speaking to him. His mind was focused on his stomach and how the contents were swirling around and around and around. He took a swallow of water hoping that would help. It didn't.  
  
Sandy leaned towards Ryan and said with concern, "Hey, Ryan. What's going on? Everything okay, kid?"  
  
Hearing the concern in Sandy's voice, Kirsten turned to look more closely at Ryan. She thought he looked pale and appeared to be quite nauseous. Her first thought was to put her hand to his forehead but she didn't, unsure of how Ryan would accept her touch. He had only been with them about three months but the few times she had touched him he had tensed up and it was awkward for both of them. She didn't want to cause him any more discomfort so instead she just asked, "Ryan, are you feeling okay? You look a little pale."  
  
Ryan slowly looked up at her and said unconvincingly, "I'm fine….Just tired."  
  
Both Sandy and Kirsten knew it wasn't true and they gave each other confirming glances. Kirsten felt sure that Ryan was coming down with something. She again fought the urge to reach out and put her hand on his forehead to check for fever. "Ryan, you look like you may be sick. Do you have a fever?" she asked. She leaned a little closer and tried to look into the boy's eyes when she received no answer.  
  
Everything in the room was beginning to fade from Ryan's awareness because right at that moment he was focused on the somersaults his stomach had begun performing. He had heard Kirsten but the pulse throbbing in his ear was louder. He took in a couple of deep breaths and swallowed hard trying to keep down his dinner.  
  
"Dude, you look like your going to hurl," Seth said.  
  
And Seth was right, Ryan's stomach seized and he jumped up from the table, startling Sandy, Kirsten and Seth. He violently pushed back his chair and ran for the hall bathroom.  
  
"Ryan, man. You have some place you need to be?" Seth said jokingly.  
  
"Seth," Kirsten said sternly as she jumped up to follow Ryan.  
  
Kirsten was close behind Ryan, when he stopped and bent over sharply. Ryan gagged and covered his mouth in an attempt to reduce any damage. But it didn't help. He tried to move towards the bathroom but his stomach seized again and before he had moved a couple of steps his stomach began to empty itself all over the living room rug. And it wasn't pretty.  
  
Kirsten reached him just as he began to lose his dinner. Extending her arm instinctually to comfort him, she hesitated for a moment unsure of whether he would accept this mothering from her. But she knew he needed comfort, so she put her hand on his back and began to slowly began to rub. "Sandy, trashcan, now," she shouted as she continued in her attempt to sooth Ryan. "Ryan. Oh, my gosh. It'll be okay." Sandy ran up to them with the kitchen trashcan. Kristen grabbed it; put it on the floor in front of Ryan's face.  
  
Ryan coughed as his body continued to contract violently determined to get every last drop of whatever was offending it out of its stomach. Ryan thought at any moment he might see his liver pop out of his mouth and each contraction sent a bolt of pain through his head. As the spasms began to subside he became aware of Kirsten rubbing his back and talking to him quietly. He straightened up and moved just slightly out of her reach. He didn't want her to feel obligated to help him.   
  
Kirsten felt the muscles in his back stiffen and just as she was about to remove her hand he shifted out of her reach. "Let's go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up," she said softly as pointed towards the hallway. "You felt warm. When did you start feeling bad?   
  
Sandy had been standing to side and feeling useless as he watched Ryan and Kirsten. He too wanted to do something to aid the boy but he wasn't sure what. So, he continued to stand and watch for any sign that he may be needed.   
  
As a mother, all Kirsten wanted to do was scoop the boy up in her arms, rock him and tell him everything would be okay. Of course, she couldn't even do that with Seth anymore but she could do whatever was its equivalent for teenagers but not with Ryan. When it came to Kirsten, Ryan's discomfort with her attention or touch was palpable which made her feel even more inept at helping him. Kirsten had never been an overly demonstrative person but she had never hesitated to offer a gentle touch when it was needed. Something about this boy made Kirsten doubt her ability to nurture or even parent him. Maybe it was his age, maybe a fear of rejection or maybe fear of crossing a boundary that he didn't want crossed or maybe it was all of the above, Kirsten didn't know but she did know that she struggled inwardly each time as to what was the right move.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'll clean it up," Ryan said quietly. Feeling embarrassed and self-conscious about his lack of control, he avoided eye contact with Kirsten and Sandy. As he turned towards the kitchen Ryan whispered another, "I'm sorry."  
  
Sandy grabbed hold of his elbow and pulled him back, "Oh, no you don't kiddo! There's nothing to be sorry for. You're sick. We need to get you…" Ryan pulled out of Sandy's grip, walked to the kitchen and managed to grab the roll of paper towels before he was once again stopped by Kirsten and Sandy. Sandy gently put his hand on Ryan's shoulder and squeezed. "Hey, did you hear me? You're sick. Go clean up, take some medicine and lie down," he said firmly.  
  
"But I need to clean this up," Ryan said desperately. He held tight to the paper towels when Sandy tried to pull them from his hands. Letting them clean it up was more humiliation than he could take. Thinking about it just made his head throb worse. Both he and Sandy stood with hands gripping the paper towels, locked in a battle of wills. Defiantly Ryan looked down at his hands not daring to look Sandy in the eyes but not releasing the towels. Sandy was just as determined to make the boy accept this help.  
  
Seth, who had stayed at the dinner table because, well, vomit patrol was the parents' job, had come into the kitchen at the beginning of the towel standoff. Sensing the tension in the room Seth said brightly to Ryan, "Hey, buddy what you doing? These guys live for this stuff. Come on, man don't take away the one opportunity still left to us to have the parental units cater to your every need. Think of the possibilities. Lying in bed, ringing a bell and one of them comes running to…."  
  
Seth's levity broke Sandy's concentration but not Ryan's who took the opportunity gain control of the towels and ignoring his foster brother, he walked back into the living room. Just as he began to unroll the paper towels they were snatched from his hands. He looked up and saw Sandy's stern face and saw him point towards the hall bathroom.  
  
"I've got it. Go," he said in a voice that brokered no argument. Sandy could not believe he actually had to switch into disciplinary mode over cleaning up vomit. What in this boy's life made it so difficult for him to just be a kid and let himself be taken care of?  
  
"You heard him," Kirsten said firmly as she put her hand on his back and led him to the bathroom. Then she added, "Bathroom. You. Now."   
  
Ryan's stomach was beginning to feel sick again and he could see that he had lost this fight. Fine if they wanted him to clean himself up first he would do that then he would take care of this mess. They would see that he could take care of himself and not be a problem to them.  
  
As they entered the bathroom, Kirsten grabbed a folded washcloth from the linen closet. She ran cold water over it and then wrung out the excess water. Ryan felt waves of nausea coming over him again. It couldn't be possible that there was anything left in his stomach to get rid of but apparently his body thought otherwise. His stomach seized again but this time he made it to the toilet. Once again Kirsten hesitated before rubbing his back and speaking to him in a soothing tone. Later, he would not be able to recall what she had said but only that it had been comforting. In between each heave of his stomach, Kirsten would wipe his face with the cool cloth. Ryan coughed and cried out in frustration when it seemed the spasms would never end. He didn't know if he could take this much longer. And then as quickly as it had begun his spasms were over. Ryan put his hand on the counter to steady himself and attempt to calm his breathing.  
  
Kirsten stood him up straight and said softly, "You'll be okay. I think you've got yourself a stomach virus. Is this the first time you have thrown-up today?" Closing the lid on the toilet she pushed him to sit down. He nodded weakly and then reached for the cloth in Kirsten's hand. He didn't want her to feel like she had to stay, he had everything under control now.   
  
Kirsten let Ryan take the cloth from her, and said, "Okay, Mr. I-Can-Do-It-Myself." Kirsten chuckled to her self as she remembered; "You know that's what I used to call Seth when he was three because that was something he was always saying. Well, that and NO. Boy, could he shout, no." Watching Ryan clean his face and hands, she wondered what Ryan had been like at three. Does his mother hold sweet memories of her baby Ryan? There had to be sweet memories didn't there; it couldn't have all been bleak. She hoped someone was the keeper of Ryan's special moments. Maybe she would ask Sandy to contact Dawn about that, find some baby pictures, maybe even some videos. Kirsten shook her head. What a silly thing to be thinking about right now? How could she even think that was possible?  
  
Feeling uneasy with Kirsten watching him, he focused on making sure his hands were very clean. He wasn't three but he could do it himself; they had done more than enough for him. It wasn't like he hadn't done it before. Sure, before the drinking and string of boyfriends, there had been a few kisses on his boo-boos when he was little but what little bit of nurturing he had received all but ended when they had moved away from Fresno and his grandmother. Sometimes, before they had moved his Mom would wipe away his tears if he had been hurt and his Grammy had always taken the time to offer a hug and a kiss or a rock in her lap. But at home with his dad he was expected to "suck-it-up", "shake it off" and "not be a sissy." Trey would have called him a wuss for losing it like he had. And because he could not control himself he had ruined Kirsten's rug, wasn't that a nice thank you to the Cohens.  
  
As he was finishing with his face and hands, Kirsten said tenderly, "We need to get you out of those shirts. They got a little messy too. I'm going to send Seth out to the poolhouse to get you some clean ones." She put the washcloth in the sink and headed out the door. And just before she exited she instructed, "You stay right there. I'm going to fix the sofa up for you. Be right back."  
  
A few minutes after Kirsten left, Ryan stood up and the room felt like it was spinning. It took a few moments of standing and holding onto the counter for it to pass. Determined set things right and show the Cohens that he would not be an extra burden to them, he left the bathroom. Leaning heavily on the counter and then the wall he made his way into the living room. Sandy was on his knees scrubbing the rug with a towel and a bucket of cleaning solution. Ryan pushed himself off of the wall and walked slowly towards Sandy with his hand holding his stomach.  
  
"Sandy, I'll.. get…it," he said haltingly as he lowered himself to his knees.   
  
"Ryan, no!" Sandy was surprised to see Ryan there. Sandy thought he had already won this battle. The boy was sick and he needed to be in bed. "I don't need your help. Where's Kirsten?" Sandy asked in frustration. He thought she was taking care of him. Why did she let him out here to do this?   
  
Ryan shrugged his shoulders as he reached into the bucket and pulled out one of the towels soaking in the water. He began to wring it out but the smell of the cleaning solution caused his stomach to once again protest.  
  
Sandy saw Ryan lean against the back of the sofa and begin to look as though he was going to get sick again. "Damn it, Ryan," Sandy shouted as he snatched the towel from the boy's hand. He stood up and reached to pull Ryan up but Ryan seeing the quick movement fell into the back of the sofa and put his hands and arms up in front of his face as if protecting himself from being hit.  
  
"I'm sorry," Ryan cried out as he moved to curl himself into a protective ball. Ryan realized his mistake at the same moment he made it. This man wasn't going to hit him. Wouldn't Trey or his Dad be proud of him, curling up like a baby just because Sandy yelled? And they would be right, he was a wuss. He remained curled up, embarrassed by his overreaction to Sandy's anger.   
  
Stunned at Ryan's reaction, Sandy stood motionless for a few seconds, unsure of how to proceed. What kind of hell had this boy lived through that would make him go into protection mode at raised voice and some movement? While Sandy was aware that Ryan had grown up in an abusive household this painted a picture for him of what the boy must have endured and his heart ached. It had been easy to push it to the back of his mind and tell himself that their family and support would somehow heal Ryan but he now knew it was really all an illusion. And what he saw cowering before him was a broken boy.  
  
This time Sandy moved slowly and put his hand gently on Ryan's shoulder blade. "Hey" He shook Ryan's shoulder lightly when he didn't respond. Then continued, "Hey..kiddo, I would never hit you. You know that right."   
  
Ryan moved his arm and looked up at Sandy. "Yeah..Right….I know that," he said as he pushed himself into a sitting position. "I don't know why…," he began but his voice trailed off and he looked down at his hands in shame.  
  
"It's okay, kid. Come on," Sandy said softly as he gently lifted the boy by his underarms. "You're sick and you don't need to clean this up. I've got it. I'm sorry I yelled." Sandy led him to the sofa in the den where Seth was busy with his playstation unaware of what had taken place. Sandy eased Ryan onto the sofa and patted his arm. Trying to find something to say to ease the boy's guilt over the rug, Sandy leaned in and whispered conspiratorially. "Don't tell Kirsten but I never liked the rug anyway. Now maybe we can get a new one. So thank you. Maybe I can get Seth to do the same thing on that flowery comforter in our room cause it's driving me nuts." He tussled Ryan's hair and added softly, " "Sit right there and don't move, I'll get Kirsten.." He then left the room to find his wife.  
  
Ryan nodded and then moved his body until his head was lying on the arm of the sofa leaving his feet planted on the floor. His shoes would mess up the sofa and he was too weak to remove them, his body and mind having used its last bit of energy to protect itself. Could this day get any worse, first he had ruined the Cohen's rug and then he had made Sandy feel bad. He knew with almost complete certainty Sandy would never hit him but sometimes old lessons are hard to unlearn. In the Atwood house, when someone yelled him and then moved quickly it usually meant he was about to be hurt and more often than not, badly.  
  
Kirsten met Sandy as he entered the living room, her arms full of bedding. "Where's Ryan? I told him to stay…"  
  
Sandy put up his hand and said, "He's in the den lying on the sofa. I took him in there." Taking the bedding from Kirsten and laying it on the back of the sofa. He said, "Let's sit down for a minute."  
  
"Sandy, what are you doing? I need to take care of Ryan." But looking into her husband's eyes and reading the body language she knew so well she moved to sit down. And when Sandy stood before her and ran his hand through his hair she asked with concern, "What is it? What's wrong?"  
  
"He thought I was going to hit him," Sandy said as tears glistening in his eyes.  
  
"Sandy, what do you mean? Who, Ryan? Why would he ever think that?   
  
"He came in here to clean this up, again." He gestured towards the stained rug. "And I told him no, but he did it anyway and he began to get sick again. I got angry and grabbed the towel away from him. Then…Then.." Sandy had to stop a moment to compose himself. He took in a deep breath and then continued, "I yelled at him and grabbed the towel. The look on his face." Sandy put his hand over his heart. "Kirsten, he curled into a ball on the floor to protect himself."   
  
Kirsten put her hand to her mouth in shock. "Dear, God!" Then her shock turned to anger,   
  
"Why did you yell at him? He's sick."   
  
Sandy nodded, "I know. I was just aggravated because he came in there trying to clean the rug again."  
  
"He must know we wouldn't hit him. How could he not know that? And we don't care about that stupid rug, it's just a rug."  
  
"Honey, I think we have been lying to ourselves. We think that our guidance and support will help him and it will but it may not be enough. I think we have been in denial."  
  
"Denial, denial about what?"  
  
"About what kind of routine abuse Ryan may have been subjected to. His reactions tonight speak to what he may have suffered and the damage it may have done."  
  
"But he's sick and not thinking clearly."  
  
Sandy sat down on the sofa beside her and took her hand. "Yeah, see that's my point. He was sick enough to drop his tough guy act and what I saw was a sacred little boy."  
  
"That's just so heartbreaking. He's really such a sweet, kid." Kirsten's tried to understand what Sandy was telling her. "How could his mother not protect him; or do you think she also hurt him?" she asked already knowing the answer.  
  
"Well, we already know that she's hurt him. She's abandoned him twice that we know of. I think we might want to consider counseling, someone who specializes in abused children."  
  
Kirsten could only nod as she stood to hug her husband. They both now understood that the commitment they had made to be guardians of this boy meant much more than they had considered at the time and that they were indeed "in way over their heads." But it was still a commitment they were willing to keep. They had given him school, clothes, food, and rules but they now had to guardians of his spirit as well. A spirit that it appears may be broken but hopefully not beyond repair.  
  
Kirsten left Sandy sitting in the living room and headed towards the den. There she found Ryan asleep on the sofa with his feet on the floor. Before she would not have noticed the oddness of his position but now it made her question what he felt his place was in her family. Was he afraid of what would happen if he got the sofa dirty or was he just being overly polite? Either choice made her uncomfortable because the boy should not be afraid and he should not feel like a guest. She wanted him to get the sofa dirty, to say he was sorry but not really mean it because it was just a stupid sofa and he had more important things to do like, playstation. As she looked at Ryan lying in that uncomfortable position, she became determined to let the boy know that he had a safe, secure home and people that cared about him. And while she would never be his mother, she could love him as much as he would let her. And without any hesitation or doubt, she moved forward, lifted his feet one at a time, pulled off each of his shoes and then lifted his them to the sofa. Gently lifting his head she placed a pillow beneath it and placed a blanket over him. She would wake him in a little bit to take some medicine. Sitting down on the coffee table she pushed his bangs off of his forehead. Then she stoked his flushed cheek, leaned it to kiss it and now she knew that he did indeed have a fever.  
  
Ryan shifted and his eyes fluttered. "I'm sorry," he said weakly.   
  
A lump formed in Kirsten's throat as she struggled to say, "Its okay, sweetie." She stood adjusted the blanket and once again kissed his cheek. From this moment on there would be no more hesitation in her touch, she would make him understand he had nothing to be sorry for, if anything she was sorry for doubting herself and not opening her heart sooner. If he stiffened at her touch, she would take it slowly but she would it freely and without hesitation.

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_Author's note: Speaking as an adoptive mother, I wish everyday I could take away some of the pain caused by my oldest daughter's biological parents and I long to have her special baby memories in my head and not in theirs. She was 4 when we got her and her baby sister was 9 months._


End file.
